In today’s Daily Kos, one of the nation’s most popular politcal Web sites, LIFE Program participant David W. writes about his 26 years of living with HIV… and recent discovery of the LIFE Program….
“I moved back to South Florida and was settling in here when I got sick. I got really, really sick. I should have died. Somehow I didn’t? It’s been a struggle. But I’m still here. I’m still alone.
“Over the years I’ve sought out help. Support groups, psychiatrists, caseworkers, and counselors. None have been much help. None were comprehensive enough to address my problems and emotions.
“A few weeks ago I was talking to someone who is also HIV+. He told me of a support group in Ft Lauderdale called the Shanti LIFE Program. They cover everything about surviving with HIV, from every aspect. I searched for them on Google and signed up for their program in San Francisco by mistake. I was crying while I filled out the application. I had been waiting 26 years for someone to talk to, someone who would understand my pain. 26 years of pain hidden deep inside of me. They must have felt compelled to call. They called the next day and referred me to some people in Ft Lauderdale offering the program here. It all happened so quickly. Before I knew it I was sitting in the first meeting of their 11th cycle of the program that started a few weeks ago. It’s an 18-week program. After the first meeting I was driving home. A 40-minute drive. And on that drive I felt a huge weight lifted up from my heart. I saw a light. I felt a tinge of happiness. Something I haven’t felt in 26 years. 26 years ago today.
“I’ll write more when the program is over December 8th. There are 50 guys in the LIFE program here this cycle. Many just diagnosed. Many diagnosed over twenty years ago like me. There are others too, who have died inside like me. But now I have a feeling my life is starting again. I’ll let you know how it goes. I’m anxious to share what I have learned. It’s been a long wait.”
POZitive Attitudes 
Hello David,
Your discovered joy in finding others to talk and compare skills of living with HIV is inspirational. Also as a graduate of the LIFE Program, my life makes more sense. You have many first hand memories of being “a long term survivor”, all dear in our hearts, yet, I found it helpful to begin the program with new friends, new thoughts and modern technique.
David following the LIFE PROGRAM process helped me to mellow and made my life precious again. There are so many who like yourself, want to talk with others.
David
Your story sounds all too familiar. Too many people test positive and stop living. Others act out self-distructively. We need to reach out and be there for our brothers. I am happy you found this Life Program. I hope it provides the answers you need.
Thank you Michael and Stephen for reading my diary and for your words of encouragement. These days I look forward to every Tuesday and our LIFE meetings. I also have found a sense of happiness that has been missing in my life for so long now. I’ve met a few guys in the group and we’ve hung out some and talked. Just last night I found myself smiling on a dog walk down to the beach for no good reason. I thought, hey, I’m smiling and you know what, it feels pretty darn good. This was something I have been meaning to write about for a long, long time and now it’s time to move on. Not forget, but move on.
David –
I want to thank you for sharing this with the world. Your story needs to be told. All of our stories should be heard. I also buried my Lover and too many friends to count. I was told to prepare.. I had only a few months to live. I put my life in order and got a burial plot 20 years ago. But I am still around.